Tuesday, January 29, 2008

Popcorn from God

So, it's snowing again. The weather's been bizarre lately - up to 50 yesterday and then back down to freezing by this afternoon. Tomorrow's wind chill will be 20 below. Lots of sudden shifts. The snow melts and then starts to fall anew.

I feel like I've been disengaged from the blogging world of late. Yes, I've posted enough but lately I'm often writing on the weekends and then posting the pieces as the week goes on. This allows me to write when I have extra time and get work done and relax more during the busy-ness of a typical week. And so although maybe my readers don't feel like I'm absent during the week, I sort of do, just stopping in to hit "publish" and then enjoying the comment conversations, and not commenting as often on the blogs I love to read all the time.

I am relaxing more. I've rearranged my schedule and routines to make things work better, and the outcome has been very good. I feel more zen mama and less hysterical mama. The trouble for me is, once I relax a bit, I want to stay there. I don't want to get up and make dinner. Or play cars. Or write a report. I just want to be on the couch reading my book. I don't know if this is because my busy times are so ridiculously busy or if this is a challenge I have personally, but it's hard to find the middle ground.

It was my assist day at Lyle's co-op preschool and I was actually counting on him to nap afterwards; this is silly because he so often doesn't anymore when he's home with me, but he's been sick and he looked exhausted, so I had decided that he was going to nap. Which of course led to dreadful disappointment when he didn't. But I insisted on quiet time, during which I lay on my bed reading "Eat Pray Love" with the space heater pointed directly at the bed, while Lyle alternately looked at books next to me, rearranged the settings on my alarm clock, and dug his fingernails into my Chap Stick. I knew I should get up and do something with him because, really, how relaxing was this for me? But I just couldn't. I didn't feel down or blue, just glued to my bed and book. All I could think of was that my stomach was grumbling and maybe it would be fun to make some popcorn for a snack. That was literally my one and only true motivation for getting off of my bed.

When I did get up, it was because there was a knock at our door. And do you know who was at my door? It was our great neighbors from across the hall, a mom and her toddler who come over nearly every day to play, with a bowl full of delicious popcorn to share with us.

And what more do I need, really, on a cold winter's day when I don't feel like doing much of anything?


Niksmom said...

Okay, I am hearing Twilight Zone music in my head right now (of course, that may have NOTHING whatsoever to do with this post...)!

What you described is exactly where I hae been for the past few weeks; I relaxed so well that "I don't wanna have to" do anything beyond the most rudimentary! Not good for me as I get stuck and it gets ugly.

Oh, and BTW, I'm glad the new routine is creating more zen and less zany. Tell me your secret!

Casdok said...

Yes can your neighbour read your mind!!

Shan said...

I can relate to that disappointment when the kiddo doesn't nap. Although, after 3-1/2 years of parenting kiddos who barely nap, you'd think I'd be used to it. Alas. Anyway, when Julia skips her nap, she's still in her room in her bed--she just ends up not falling asleep. She talks and sings in her bed. Because she's still confined to her bed in the nursery, I still get my break--even if it's only an hour until I let her get up, and even if it's not always that "quiet." Maybe this would help? I know I'd never be able to relax with Julia next to me--nor would she leave me alone for one second.

Jordan said...

Niksmom, if I can pinpoint a secret to share with you, I sure will. I think it mainly had to do with rearranging things better.

Shannon, that's great that Julia will do quiet time in her bed, I've known other kids who would do that, too. Sadly (very sadly!), the boys have never had the mellow temperaments required for such a thing. I tried with both of them, but in each case we had major tantrums, screaming, crying, throwing things. I gave up enforcing that with Lyle after a few weeks of horrible battles last fall. Neither of my kids would ever stay in their rooms - awake - without me. So I sometimes try to help him nap if I see he's really tired but otherwise I just tell him it's quiet time and he can play quietly with his toys anywhere he wants if he lets me get my work done. Since I wasn't working yesterday, but actually reading a book, I was an easy target for attempts at interaction! That was my mistake! ;-)

Shan said...

Ah, I get it. Yes, I can only imagine what would happen if I tried to make Julia sit quietly next to me with the two of us reading our books. Two words: NONSTOP CHATTER. ;)