Tuesday, February 26, 2008

A Monumental Day

Today, ladies and gentlemen, something absolutely monumental took place at Chez Wonderwheel!

As you may know, my little guy has been having all sorts of separation issues lately, and you'll recall that I gave him the lovely glass heart to hang onto when I'm at work.

Words cannot do justice to the difference that heart has made. He separates in the morning without tears, he brings it to preschool and hides it in his cubby. He sleeps with it under his pillow. At night, when each of the boys picks a song "theme" for me to sing to them (I improvise a song based on their theme of choice to the same tune every night), he has been asking me to sing a song about "heart". (Baxter? "Pokemon.")

The heart seemed to set the stage for his successful participation in Advanced Separation 301, allowing me an unheard of transition in and out of our home when I went to both Minneapolis and San Francisco last week. Truly, it was a breeze - Lyle was perfectly happy while I was away both times and did not even make me pay for my absence upon my return! This is nothing short of miraculous.

But all of that - all of it - was a drop in the bucket compared to today. Because this boy, this child who has been completely unable to take a nap on the days we're home together (Tues/Thurs) for many months now - despite the fact that he'll nap 2-3 hours for everyone else - declared during lunch that he was tired and ready to nap as if it were the most natural thing in the world. As if separating from me by slipping into unconsciousness for a couple of hours wasn't a horrifying thought all of a sudden!

Furthermore, he willingly napped even when I explained that, due to the late start of this unexpected nap, I would have to leave the house soon to pick up his brother at school. This meant that I was going to have to leave the child monitor with our (very familiar) neighbor across the hall. He was cool with this. I showed him how, when he woke up, if I didn't come down when he called, he was to talk into the monitor and tell the neighbor he was awake because it meant I wasn't home yet. And still - he remained unfazed. He thought this was peachy keen, and hoped he'd get to go play with her daughter and maybe pet the cats.


So wait - not only would he separate from me and take a nap, but it was actually okay with him if I left the house during his nap and left him in the care of a neighbor, knowing that I may or may not be here when he woke up?!

Oh. my. God.

I tucked him in with the monitor close by and heart no. 55 resting in his sweet little hand, and walked carefully upstairs, sitting stock still on the couch for 10 minutes and steeling myself for the sound of his feet pounding upstairs after me, realizing he wanted to come with me to get his brother, or that he would miss me too much, didn't want a nap after all.

But he did it. He fell asleep. A deep sleep that lasted until I came home with Baxter, whose pounding feet woke him. But I didn't care. Because he slept for TWO HOURS! On my watch!

There's something to be said for a child's positive experience of being without mama for a few days and realizing that everything is still okay. She calls, she brings presents, and she always comes back.

I'm going out of town more often. That's all there is to it.


Frooly said...

Yahoo - go Lyle!! And I have a suggested destination for your next trip!

Anonymous said...

Hooray!!! Why is it the things we worry about most, the things that are the biggest challenge, sometimes wind up with the best results? I want a heart too.

Drama Mama said...


That's totally awesome.

I need a heart TODAY.

I might suggest the idea to the Resource Specialist at M's school; alot of kid could use them!

tulipmom said...

That's incredible! You should submit this post to their website.

My heart came last week and I've tucked it away until after Tulipbaby arrives. I'm sure the "perfect moment" (or not so perfect, as the case may be) will present itself.

Jordan said...

I will send this link to Heart is Hot. Actually, my post "A Heart Full of Mama Love" was linked to from their first newsletter last week - our story was their headline, with links to my version and the one I wrote from Lyle's perspective on their site!

Kristen said...

Hi Jordan! What a great blog! I can tell you are going to brighten my days on more than one occasion. Thanks for visiting "What Grows Around." I know I'll be back to The Wonderwheel. Enjoy your newfound freedom!

Delilah said...

What a great idea! You must be thrilled with these amazing changes.

Anonymous said...

now THAT is miraculous! i bow at your feet! i am thrilled for you all!

and by the way, that is an adorable new pic of you!

p.s. did you say you were going to nyc in the spring? i am having brain fog and i'm not sure if i made this up?
i'm still here in FL where i have internet access but can't send email.

Libby said...

Kids are just amazing, aren't they? I don't have any, so I'm far from being any authority on the subject, but I never tire or reading posts like this one. :)

Christopher Tassava said...

What a great story! The little boy is growin' up (as Julia would say).

Jordan said...

Yes, I am going to NYC this spring! Here is the current Wonderwheel tour schedule:

Springfield, MA last weekend in March
NYC April 9-13
Boston May 16-18
Monterey, CA late July

Crazy, no?

NYC is an actual vacation for Matt and me - our first in 12 years! No lie. (lots of trips, no vacations!)

Niksmom said...

I kneel in awe and homage to BOTH you and Lyle! That's a major leap forward and must feel so liberating for you.

Wow, NYC in spring? Ooh...is it possible to have a reunion with someone you've never met?

Jordan said...

Sure, call it whatever you want: if anyone can make it to NYC on Saturday April 12, let me know! Lunch? Dinner? Turn those virtual glasses of wine into the real thing!

Cara said...

Go Lyle! Go Jordan! I am so happy for both of you. I need to get me some of those hearts before the Germany trip!!!!!!

KAL said...

That's awesome. Hurray for you both! I think we could use a couple of those hearts over here... And maybe I need to try going away. Hmm.