I still hadn't gotten all of those reports done, and my November paperwork had not gone out to my clients yet. The work was overwhelming, I'm working all day Saturday, the nanny was out sick with the flu, and I'd agreed to work at Lyle's co-op nursery school this morning to help someone else out (I'll be grateful for that come next week when she is working in my place). When I lost the three hours set aside to get work done yesterday afternoon (due to the nanny's completely legitimate illness), I saw the first two wheels loosening - poised to drop at any moment - and I started to feel true panic rising.
I was talking to a reputable local psychologist yesterday and we were discussing the hell of over-scheduling oneself. "When that happens, I just cease to function," she said knowingly. All I could manage was a "Yeah...", knowing that I'm in the midst of that right now and feeling stuck.
Today I turned things around, however. During the day, while I was working at the co-op and caring for the boys, I focused my mind on some positives about work. I've had a few really interesting opportunities come up in the past week - I wrote an article that is about to be picked up by both a local online parenting network and a new BabyCenter blog, and I had the chance to help a novelist-who-shall-remain-nameless work out a tough plot line that required some professional expertise. This was a challenge unlike any other and it was so fascinating and fun for me! Thinking about these new endeavors really helped today.
I then also arranged a way to get out of the house and work tonight. When Matt got back from work, I high-tailed it down the block to this fine establishment (heard of them?), which is as close to my house as this:
Turns out, the "out of the house" part of that equation is key. I'm also not about to pay for their wireless connection (those stingy buggers) so I'm "off the grid" when I'm there, as Matt would say. Of course, having no access to email or the Internet really does make a difference in terms of my, um, attention to task. I was able to complete two big evaluation reports in a few hours.
And so, at least for now, the wheels have affixed themselves to the bus once more. There's a lot more to do, but the most challenging things are off my plate. I am not a big fan of this situation, and am actively working to remedy it. I know what I've done wrong in my schedule this fall and winter, and will just need a little time to shift things enough that some of this pressure will be released. But I'll do it.
7 comments:
This is as inspiring as anything I've read this week. Thank god for the little victories. Enough of them, and you've won the campaign, if not the war!
I know you've been stretched too thin lately, but reading this makes me doubly appreciative of the time you took to help me this week. You're a trooper. And how lucky are you to have an escape route--even if they don't offer free wifi (those cheapskates!!!)
I gotta say that dropping off the grid, even for just a couple hours, is pretty amazing. I sit in front of a computer all day, with an iPhone in my pocket, and the technology-induced ADD can be impossible to deal with, let alone overcome. Email, voice mail, RSS, Twitter: enough!
I left my laptop at the office yesterday and spent the evening (while Jordan was at that cute little Seattle-style coffeeshop) watching absolute crap TV. It was heaven, and I know I'll be 1,000 times more productive today for it.
Plus, it's Christmas, and who doesn't have ten million things to do right now because of that? Yikes. Breathe!
Oh--and p.s.--I'll have to start reading Babycenter again! I keep deleting it every time it comes to my inbox---too busy, too busy....
Christmas? That's part of what put me over the edge this week - this idea that I should also be shopping, shipping gifts to California, etc. None of that is happening, let me tell you.
As for Baby Center, it's been years since I've been to that site (ah, the good old days!), but they've got a great new blog called "Momformation" that some of my Moms Blog friends from around the country are writing for, and it seems really high quality so far. It's at http://blogs.parentcenter.babycenter.com/momformation/
Well, coming in late here, but you know I am having trouble getting it together. In college I always had to leave my dorm room to study. It is difficult to stay focused at home when all these other people and tasks are calling for my attention.
I completely shut down when overwhelmed so I am always trying not to get that way. But it is also unavoidable. Sigh
I am glad you were able to refocus and keep those wheels on!
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