You never know where the breakfast conversation is going to go around here.
One minute you're sleepily making coffee for yourself (always a priority) and some raisin toast for the kids, mmmm-hmmmming your way through a conversation about the new "fighting game" the 1st graders are currently playing at recess. You know, who has which super power, will H. be mad if we want to add a new power today (that of turning into a turkey vulture when under attack), and that sort of thing. Then, just as you're pouring a little bit of milk into your coffee, the topic seems to have taken a dramatic turn for the, well, serious, because you realize you have just been asked,
"Why does my penis look different from all the other boys' penises?" with a complete graphic description of certain boys' members.
And - wham-o! - it's time to discuss circumcision. The pros, the cons, religious reasons, and why Daddy and I chose not to do that with our boys. He had to list each male member (pun completely intended) of my family: are they or aren't they? Thankfully, I couldn't always answer. I don't know what made me think this wouldn't "come up" until the boys had to change clothes in an open locker room...apparently, when you get enough first grade boys in a bathroom together...
All this left me thinking that perhaps Matt won't be allowed to shower while I serve breakfast anymore.
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Bad alternative response: "You think your penis looks different than the other boys' penises? Good lord, kid, have you seen how different your penis looks from the girls' penises? Get a grip!"
Pour milk into coffee, take loud sip, open copy of newspaper.
Aaaaaaand scene.
I'm spitting cheerios all over the place as I read this. LOL! I guess the upshot is, he's curious as to why he looks different, but doesn't seem to be worried about being different. Good parenting strikes again.
And good lord, you have me wondering as to what first grade girls do in the bathroom at school.
Hilarious! When Billy was almost 3 he watched his friend getting a diaper change and said, "His penis looks silly. Why does it look like a doorknob?!" I'm still trying to figure out exactly which part(s) he was looking at to see a doorknob!
I want to say I'm glad I have girls right about now, except I know that girls bring with them their own brand of surprising conversations. If it's not penises it's, oh, breasts, periods, bras, whatever. Right?! (And now I'm thinking of Jordan running down the hall to her room with her hands over her ears when her mom tried to talk to her about menstruation. Aren't all of you thinking of that now too? Oops, sorry Jordan, hope it was okay to mention that.....)
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